Eight out of ten parents admit to staying together for the sake of their children as Relate launches new book – Help your Children Cope with your Divorce
05 September 2007
Eighty five per cent of people surveyed admit that they would be more likely to leave their partner if they did not have children together.
The online poll, conducted by Relate, indicates a silent majority of couples maintaining unhappy relationships for the sake of their children's wellbeing.
The poll*, which received more than 3000 responses, was commissioned for the launch of a new book from Relate and Vermilion providing practical and emotional guidance to divorcing parents. The poll highlights the emotional dilemma that parents face when attempting to reconcile their own happiness with that of their children.
Paula Hall, author of Help your Children Cope with Your Divorce, said:
"Thousand of parents each year work out their relationship problems themselves or with help from Relate counsellors, and this is the ideal outcome.
In publishing this book I want to reassure parents who have been unable to resolve their difficulties and who are facing the heartbreak of divorce that there are measures they can take to lessen the upheaval."
It is estimated that 300,000** children each year are affected by the breakdown of their parents' relationships. Relate, the UK's leading provider of relationship counselling, has seen an increase in the numbers of people seeking emotional support out of concern for the wellbeing of their children.
Claire Tyler, Chief Executive of Relate, welcomed the new book:
"Despite the drop in the divorce rate and Relate's successful preventative work pre-separation, there is a very real need for good quality advice in a variety of different formats to help parents going through the anxiety of divorce. Paula writes with empathy, offering a helping hand to those trying to make sense of their emotions. Help your Children Cope with your Divorce is a welcome and timely addition to Relate's range of self-help books."
Paula Hall's advice is based on 12 years of experience working with couples and families and a body of evidence that points to two key factors affecting a child's ability to adjust to family change: the quality of contact with both parents and the level of conflict between them.
Hall provides step-by-step advice to help parents make informed decisions. Part I explores the powerful range of emotions that adults feel as they struggle to cope with the end of their relationship. It also gives practical support for breaking the news to children with age-specific information on how children react and advice on how to handle it.
Part II helps parents to prepare for the painful yet unavoidable stages of the process like leaving day, managing birthdays and parents' evenings. The final section addresses legal and financial matters including advice for individuals whose partner can't or won't co-operate. There is also advice on introducing new partners and maintaining a civil relationship with your ex.
Readers of all age groups and backgrounds will relate to the universal advice gathered from real case-work. Help Your Children Cope with Your Divorce is the ninth book in the popular Relate series. For more information visit the Relate website: www.relate.org.uk
Help Your Children Cope with Your Divorce by Paula Hall is published by Vermilion on 6 September 2007 - available to buy online and at all major book-shops for £8.99.
*Poll carried out on the Relate website between 1 and 30 June 2007 based on 3380 responses
**Estimate taken from Supporting Children Through Family Change - published in 2003 by Joseph Rowntree Foundation
Notes for editors
- Paula Hall biography: Paula Hall is a sexual & relationship psychotherapist, UKCP registered and both BACP and BASRT accredited. She is experienced in working with couples, individuals, young people and families. She works both for Relate and in private practice in Warwickshire. Over the past 10 years, she has helped many hundreds of clients from all walks of life with a huge diversity of sexual, relationship and family problems. As an expert on relationships and sexuality, she regularly comments on behalf of Relate in the national press and women's magazines as well as appearing on national radio and television. She has written the BBC's website pages on sex and relationships. She is also a behind the scenes consultant on a number of TV dramas and documentaries. Paula describes herself as an ardent supporter of plain speaking and good humour. She believes that when these attributes are mixed with kindness and consideration any relationship can thrive. Paula is 40 yrs old and lives with her 2 children in Warwickshire. A digital photo is available
- Relate background: Relate is working to promote health, respect and justice in couple and family relationships
- Relate's services extend beyond couple counselling to family counselling, counselling for young people, online counselling, sex therapy and relationship skills workshops
- Relate supports 150,000 people each year in over 600 locations in England, Wales and Northern Ireland
- Last year Couple Counselling Scotland changed its name to Relate Scotland which remains a separate charity yet operates with shared standards and in close partnership with Relate
- The full series of Relate books - published by Vermilion are available to buy online and in all good book shops
