Relate Press Releases

JAN 10 / Politicians need to commit to relationships

The three leading relationship organisations Relate, One Plus One and The Tavistock Centre for Couple Relationships, have come together to warn politicians that relationships between adults should be centre stage in social policy as they are often at the root of problems with children’s achievement at school, and emotional wellbeing. Relationship breakdown also leads to many adults falling into poverty, homelessness, depression or losing their jobs. 

Today’s publication of the Relationship Manifesto highlights how relationships have been changing. The average woman marrying today is likely to be significantly older when she marries than her mother was.  Sadly, the proportion of marriages predicted to end in divorce by the 50th anniversary has increased from 34 per cent in 1979/80 to 45 per cent in 2005. In 1957 only 4.8% of births were outside of marriage compared to 44% of all in 2007.

Claire Tyler, CEO of Relate, the UK’s largest provider of relationship counselling said: “As a society we are fully aware of the devastating effects that poor quality and unstable relationships can have on families and children. Fortunately we know that therapeutic support helps to strengthen relationships, especially if people seek help early on. Politicians should make firm commitments in their manifestos to provide more relationship support services to help couples stay together, or if separation is inevitable to do so amicably for the sake of the children. By making help easier to access, we can create a culture where seeking relationship support is as normal as seeing their GP.”

Penny Mansfield, Director of One Plus One and thecoupleconnection.net, said “Relationship instability has increased considerably in the past 25 years but so too has knowledge about its causes and consequences and how to reduce it (1). In the current difficult economic climate Government can use existing resources imaginatively and effectively by ensuring that those working with parents have that knowledge and that couples can access it themselves through innovative channels, including online.”

Susanna Abse, Director of the Tavistock Centre for Couple Relationships, said: “We are expecting both the Conservatives and Labour’s Green Papers on Families to be released in the next few weeks and we need to see that politicians have grasped the importance of supporting relationships. It is no good politicians saying they want stronger family relationships if there aren’t services available for couples when they need them.” 

The three leading relationship organisations Relate, One Plus One and The Tavistock Centre for Couple Relationships, have come together to warn politicians that relationships between adults should be centre stage in social policy as they are often at the root of problems with children’s achievement at school, and emotional wellbeing.  Ahead of the publication of Labour’s and the Conservatives green papers on relationships politicians are being asked to make the following commitments:

1.  Building on relationships skills within education. Research shows (GRIT, The Young Foundation, 2009) that whether you can get on with other people is as important as academic achievement at determining whether you get on in life. Education should encourage teamwork, communication, self-disciple and resilience to help children flourish in the real world.

2.  Ante- and post-natal services need to prepare new parents for the effects a baby can have on their relationship. 65% of couples say their relationship gets worse after the birth of a child the opposite of what most couples believe will happen! Being prepared for this, knowing the warning signs, and where to turn for help if it’s needed, would help more couples buck this trend, and prevent relationship breakdown.

3.  Our relationships affect every area of our lives. Yet front line workers such as health visitors, GPs, teachers and social workers don’t receive the right training to help with relationship issues. Training needs to be provided on how to support couple relationships and who to refer people too.

4.  There is huge unmet need for therapeutic services to help prevent relationship breakdown, improve relationships, and encourage better post-separation parenting. These services should be accessible via GPs, schools, Children’s Centres, and large employers, as well as ‘in the high street’.

5.  Local Authorities are key to making all of the above happen – preventing relationship breakdown and improving relationship quality where possible can improve health outcomes, educational performance, and reduce Anti social behaviour and child poverty. Local Authorities will save money for minor outlay.

In this General Election year, the relationship experts are calling on the parties to recognise and support relationships – the things which make the difference to our wellbeing and the well being of the nation.

Examples of how the generations compare:
 

Data from the Office for National Statistics.

Key statistics:
•    In 2006 80% of couples reported the same address when they were married.
•    According to British Social Attitudes in 2006 just over 1 in 4 of those aged between 25 and 34 were in cohabiting relationships.
•    On average between 1981 and 1983 (General Household Survey) 48% of women with dependent children were in employment.  According to the Office for National Statistics (Labour Force Survey 2008) 68% of working age women with dependent children are in employment.
•    In 2006 the average age of divorce was 42.4 for men and 40.1 for women.

Ends

For further press enquiries contact Mel Merritt, Relate Press Officer, 020 7554 2892 / mel.merritt@relate.org.uk
For enquiries to One Plus One please contact Laura Dimmock, Information Officer 0207 553 9530 / ld@oneplusone.org.uk

Notes to Editors
-    Relate, is the UK’s largest provider of relationship counselling and sex therapy and also provides family counselling, counselling for young people, online counselling, and relationship skills workshops.
-    One Plus One is the UK’s leading relationships research organization, and provider of thecoupleconnection.net, a website offering online relationship support for couples.
-    The Tavistock Centre for Couple Relationships provides therapeutic services which support couples, strengthen families, and safeguard children.

End Notes

1.    More information on relationship breakdown and its impacts can be found in the recently published Coleman, L. & Glenn, F. (2009) When couples part: Understanding the consequences for adults and children. London: One Plus One. The Executive Summary can be downloaded from http://www.oneplusone.org.uk/publications/whencouplespartexecutivesummary.pdf

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