Relate Press Releases
AUG 10 / Technology shifts the goalposts when it comes to unfaithful behaviour
Finding out your partner has had an affair can be an incredibly traumatic experience. In recent times, websites such as Facebook have mushroomed and mobile phones have become ubiquitous. Staying in touch with each other has never been easier, but just what impact is that having on our relationships?
So what constitutes an affair?
To coincide with the release of their new book After the Affair, Relate, the UK’s largest provider of relationship support, has commissioned research into what in this day and age constitutes an affair, revealing just how much of an influence modern technology has had on the nation’s fidelity:
• Just under a third of those surveyed (28%) believe that the exchange of flirty texts or emails counts as having an affair
• 36% believe that having a sexy phone call counts as unfaithful behaviour
• However a more traditional activity such as having a kiss was also identified, with 39% deeming this as having an affair
The research also highlights that, when it comes down to it, men (30%) are thought to be more likely than women (4%) to be unfaithful to their partner, with six in ten (63%) believing that both sexes are equally as likely.
Julia Cole, author of Relate’s recently updated and revised After the Affair, commented on the findings:
“What we are seeing is a shift in people’s attitudes towards affairs and how they are conducted. The increase of technology has changed the way we form, develop and maintain friendships and this has in turn had an impact on our relationships, as the survey shows.
“Whilst technology is fantastic in helping us stay in touch, it is raising new questions within couples. Activities such as the exchange of flirty texts or emails, or ‘sexting’, are a new twist on what we could traditionally call an affair and as a result, we are seeing confused and worried partners, unsure of how to deal with this.”
Changes in the way we communicate prompted Relate and Author Julia Cole to update the already popular After the Affair, which offers practical support and guidance on how to deal with the effects of an affair. The book tackles the tricky question of ‘Just what is an affair?’ and looks at how technological advances have shifted the balance of trust.
Cole continued: “It’s so important to stress that an affair does not have to mean the end of a relationship. Relate, through its counselling and books such as After the Affair, helps couples come to terms, understand and accept what’s happened.”
Part of the bestselling Relate series, the revised After the Affair guides couples through the aftermath of an affair and offers practical advice on how to move on from this, whether it’s staying in the relationship or parting amicably. It takes the reader through:
• why the affair happens
• the different types of affair
• how to recover from a betrayal
• how to take positive steps to reconciliation, or an amicable parting
• how best to help your children cope
• what the future may hold
After the Affair by Julia Cole is published by Vermilion and is now available to buy online from our bookshop and at all major book-shops for £9.99
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Contact Media and PR Officer, Kim Atkins on: 020 7554 2892 / kim.atkins@relate.org.uk or for out of hours enquiries - 07971 869 735
Notes to editors:
• Julia Cole is a BACP Accredited counsellor, psychosexual therapist and supervisor. She worked for Relate for 12 years, and has been, in total, a counsellor for 25 years. She has worked as a counsellor for the NHS, a breast cancer charity and is currently a counsellor for the armed forces. Julia has written 6 books on relationships and has previously written for many national magazines and newspapers, including being an agony aunt for The Sunday Express and Essentials magazine. She has appeared widely on TV and radio, chiefly commenting on relationships and family issues. She is married with one son and one daughter - A digital photo is available
• Relate’s vision is a future in which healthy relationships form the heart of a thriving society
• Relate’s services extend beyond couple counselling to family counselling, counselling for young people, online counselling, sex therapy and informal workshops
• Relate works in schools, primary care settings, prisons, and Children’s Centres
• Relate supports 150,000 people each year in over 600 locations in England, Wales and Northern Ireland
• Relate has a work-force of 2,000 people nationwide
• For more information and advice visit: www.relate.org.uk
Fieldwork was conducted by Ipsos MORI on behalf of Relate. 1,023 adults aged between 16 and 64 years were surveyed across Great Britain on our online Omnibus survey. Fieldwork was conducted online between 13th and 16th August 2010. Results have been weighted to the known GB population of adults aged 16 - 64.