My husband and I had been together for ten years and married for five when our relationship broke down. The breakup was very painful and there had been some domestic violence involved.
I was in a fairly bad place. I was on anti-depressants and I hadn’t been able to work for a couple of months. I didn’t feel I was able to do anything except what was necessary to look after my children. I was making regular visits to the doctor, but nothing seemed to be helping.
My mum works for a mediation service, and she advised me to speak to Relate about the problems I was having.
What Relate did for me
I attended Relate counselling every week for seven weeks and during that time, I felt I was able to return to work.
Even though I had to declare bankruptcy at that time, I felt that the decisions I was making were in the best interests of me and my children. With the advice from the counsellor, I began to feel that I could take back control of my life.
The most surprising but helpful thing I found was that it was totally different from what I had expected counselling to be. I didn’t just air my woes and have a counsellor sit and nod. My counsellor had an opinion and made useful and constructive comments and advice to help me get into a better state of mind.
Where I am now
The counselling made a huge difference to me. I’m feeling quite positive now. I still have bad days, but they don’t engulf me in the way they did before.
I don’t feel guilty or bad for crying over the loss of my marriage, and I now feel that I can look forward to a future for me and my children.
I’m in control of things, and I can see that there will be a point where I can have a healthy relationship again. I will be going for a check-up and would definitely consider more sessions if they were necessary.