Heart to Heart
Thoughts from our supporters and relationship experts
"Relationships are important to me as sharing is good fun and having relationships with people enable you to do that. Even if its for only one hour a week make time to listen to each other."
Sarah Beeny, broadcaster and founder of MySingleFriend.com
Relationships matter because no man or woman is an 
island. Language is social - I didn't invent it. Sanity is social - children go mad without touch and attachment. Of course if we can't bear our own company we have little to offer another person.
But relating matters because we are mortal, fragile and need backup. If you lose all the people who know and understand you - everyone who "has your file" as it were - you will feel bereft, lonely, stressed, diminished. We all need to believe we belong somewhere even if we never admit it.
Phillip Hodson, Fellow of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, author & broadcaster
Surely relationships are what makes human life worthwhile in today's demanding world? I'm alwaysamazed by the joy and fulfilment that my readers draw from their relationships, as well as awestruck by the sacrifices they're prepared to make so as to maintain those relationships. But that doesn't mean things are always easy - even the best connections take work, and that work is best done when difficulties first start rather than when problems become crises. Professionally, I always advise my readers - and personally always try to follow my own advice - to have the courage to face relationship challenges directly and to get support as early as possible.
Susan Quilliam, Relationship psychologist
" Relationships are central to my life as they are to all but a very few either extremely independently minded people or the most isolated individuals. They are enormously important because relationships give meaning to our lives helping us feel emotionally connected to others. They are a haven in difficult times and a springboard for personal growth in good times. Relationships teach us how to give and receive love, respect, and support. They provide happiness and challenges in equal measure and help us to accept and understand others and ourselves - including the many different sides to our personalities with our faults and attributes."
"My relationship with my second husband (together now for 17 years) has shown me what a real partnership is about - mucking in together, learning to listen well to another person, knowing we're there for each other fighting each other's corner where necessary, that we put each other first and have created a strong team together. Knowing his love is there means I can face any challenge and I know he feels the same about my love and support. A strong relationship is a complete blessing and all any human can hope for."
Dr Pam Spurr, Relationship expert
“A good relationship smoothes the edges in all areas of your life. If you feel supported and loved by your partner, other problems seem surmountable and not half as catastrophic. Love gives my life depth and meaning. But you can’t enjoy the benefits of a great relationship without putting the work in and doing all the things we all secretly hate: compromising, putting your partner’s needs before yours or giving them at least equal importance, talking through raw or sensitive issues, having sex when you don’t really feel like it, not over-reacting when you feel like sex and they don’t. When there’s a problem in my relationship, I try to think of it as ‘our’ problem, rather than ‘their’ problem. If you work things through together with that attitude, it removes all the finger-pointing, guilt and blame that can cause a small problem to escalate quickly into a massive one that causes the relationship to break down. I strongly support the Relate campaign to get help early if you’re having problems. The quicker you seek help, the less damage caused to the relationship and the easier it is to solve.”
Tracey Cox, sex, body lanuage and relationships expert
"I married at 21 and was with my first husband for 35 years - a marriage which was sometimes difficult but which taught me the importance of friendship and ongoing conversation within marriage. Without him I would not be the person I am today, and I know he would say the same – therefore we are proof that the end of a marriage does not have to involve bitterness, despite the pain and sorrow and even when one
partner did the leaving. A marriage can end, but respect and affection and mutual gratitude can survive - yes, ‘til death us do part."
Bel Mooney, agony aunt
"My Husband 
and kids are the most important things in my life above everything and anyone else! They love me even with all my faults, and no matter what happens we know that we will always be there for each other! I've been lucky to do some lovely things in my life, but it would mean nothing if I didn't have them to share it with. Don't get me wrong though, sometimes they all drive me insane too as I'm sure I drive them round the bend at times! But it's ok to have some time out from each other!
I think what we all need to remember is that being in love is an amazing feeling but it's more important to really like who you're with too!"
"My top tip for a happy healthy relationship would be to talk to each other regularly about your feelings, happy, sad, angry! Always talk and be prepared to listen too! Admit when you're wrong and be strong enough to say sorry! Remember to pin point each others good points instead of always focusing on the bad."
Coleen Nolan, television presenter
"Relationships are an endless source of inspiration and happiness, but they're not always easy. They need to be nurtured in order to thrive, and you need to put in the work to reap the rewards. When my husband and I went through a tough time, we didn't hesitate to seek help through counselling - our relationship was too precious to us - and we've been together for seventeen years now, and have four beautiful children. We still have to work hard, but we reap the rewards every day."
Roopa Farooki, author