Whilst tabletop role-playing games (TTRPGs) are becoming more and more well-known, they can still be a mystery to those who've never played them. Essentially, these games get players to create characters they control and, by describing what their characters do and how the world reacts, create stories together, explains Chloe Mashiter, a game designer and theatre maker specialising in live interactive work.
Dungeons & Dragons might be the most famous example but TTRPGs come in all shapes and sizes. Whether you enjoy fantastical B&Bs, tragic apocalypses or absurd spy missions, there'll be a game for you.
Countless people have got into TTRPGs thanks to the fun and escapism they offer but beyond this, there’s also a whole host of ways these games can benefit your relationships with other players.
Exploring your own identity
One of the joys of playing TTRPGs is exploring different versions of yourself. Wish you were blunter, or more fearless, or carefree? Well, playing different characters gives you a chance to lean in to those sometimes lesser-explored parts of yourself and see how it feels. This is also, for me, one of the wonderful things about polyamory as different partners can bring out different sides of you.
It's not only personality traits that you can explore either: TTRPGs can be a great space for exploring gender. I'm one of many genderqueer people who've used games to try different pronouns in a comfortable space. TTRPGs offer a low-pressure space in which to explore both how you express gender and experience being treated as someone of a given gender. It’s invaluable to have a space where you can do this without having to take more decisive, or more public, steps.
Most significantly, you're not exploring all this alone. It's happening alongside the other players, deepening your relationship with them in the process.
Expanding your idea of others
Naturally, this means you also get to see whoever you’re playing with, (whether it's friends, partners or relatives), in a whole new light. A reserved friend transforms into a bombastic hero; a goofy partner gets surprisingly deep; a straight-laced relative becomes a laid-back sidekick.
The relationships you explore in gameplay might be wildly different to the one you have in real life too. Playing out romantic relationships with platonic friends has given me fresh insight into how caring they are. Crafting slow-burn friendships with my primary partner has offered a new way to get to know their positive traits. Think you know someone so well they can’t surprise you? Play a TTRPG with them.
Building trust through collaboration
Playing TTRPGs can feel quite exposing at times. You might feel self-conscious about 'performing' as a character, getting involved in emotional stories, or keeping up with other players' imaginations. However, all the best groups build up a mutual trust to help combat this. You’ll support the player who struggles with talking in character, and they'll support you when you try a dramatic scene for the first time.
TTRPGs create a space where you can be radically sincere, honest and open together. The trust that's built during games doesn't just stay there - it extends beyond into your relationships as a whole.
Shining a spotlight on each other
TTRPGs are that rare thing: a time when adults make something together for no reason other than to have fun. Unlike other activities, such as seeing a movie or going to a gig, the focus is just on the players. This encourages you to be attentive to each other, and in turn makes it easy to spot people's talents. These might be anything from making up songs on the spot, creating cool moments for others' characters, or keeping things light when they risk getting too heavy.
Making time to simply enjoy each other's company, find shared fun and celebrate everyone's talents are great bolsters for any relationship. And they're precisely what TTRPGs get you to do.
Trying out TTRPGs
If you’re feeling curious about TTRPGs, here’s a few recommendations to get you started:
If you want to tell stories without having to play a character: The Quiet Year by Avery Alder
If you want to try a solo game before playing with friends: Bear by roll/flip/draw
If you want a quick, easy way to dip your toe in: Honey Heist by Grant Howitt
If you want to specifically explore romance (as well as sword fighting): Thirsty Sword Lesbians by April Kit Walsh
Chloe is a game designer and theatre maker, specialising in live interactive work. They are also a professional Games Master, having run TTRPGs for stage shows, livestreams, stag and hen dos, conventions, festivals and more. More information about Chloe's work is available here.