Our counsellors are telling us that the COVID-19 pandemic and its repercussions are magnifying existing issues. Everyone’s trying their best to get through whilst stuck under one roof but problems are building, which is why we’re urging anyone with relationship concerns to get in touch now rather than letting things fester until they get irreparably bad.
You might have seen coverage of polling from Relate, showing that more than one in eight people surveyed (12%) who currently live with their partner agree that staying at home is making them doubt their relationship. National newspapers and websites covered this statistic, alongside my prediction of a ‘post-lockdown relationship reckoning’ – where the doors to our homes are opened once again and all those issues people have been trying to ignore come storming out.
Almost a quarter of people surveyed who are in a couple (23%) said the current circumstances are placing pressure on their relationship right now. Out of these respondents, the age group most likely to say they were having relationship doubts was 25-34 year olds, with just over a fifth (21%) admitting this. Backing this up, we’ve seen our compatibility test become the most visited page on our website.
We also found that people are arguing more since lockdown and that money worries are currently an even bigger pressure than usual. People are finding their partners more irritating and only 17% of respondents who have a partner said they are having more sex than usual (so the jury’s still out on that predicted baby boom…).
Some of this might not feel too surprising, but it’s certainly very worrying. We’re all in a bizarre new reality and doing our best to make sense of it. For many, it’s actually proving a positive experience – the majority of the 2,021 survey respondents who have a partner (65%) said they feel supported by their partner, and 43% of respondents who currently live with their partner actually said their experience of staying at home has bought them closer. But that leaves a big group of people who, day-by-day, are facing an increasing struggle to maintain one of the most important resources for getting through tough times: relationships are the foundations of our lives and when they’re in trouble, we’re in trouble.
This is why Relate is putting so much work into ensuring we’re ready and able to help those who need us both now and on the other side of lockdown – and, most likely, far beyond. We always see a peak in people seeking relationship support after Christmas, when spending unusually long together brings issues to the surface. Add to that the current extended period of isolation, worries about job security, finances, how to juggle work with childcare and uncertainty about the future – and the rationale for my post-lockdown relationship reckoning becomes clear.
We’ve made an immense effort to increase the availability of our skilled counsellors to support relationships during this very difficult time. We’re proud to be here for the nation, offering high quality, effective webcam counselling, phone counselling and Live Chat. We have availability right now to help people find ways to handle the huge impact of this situation on themselves, their families and the health of their relationships – all from their own sofa.
So, please, if you’re feeling under pressure and worried about what the future holds for you and your relationships with your loved ones, know that you’re not alone. So many of us are feeling the pressure and there are people and resources out there to help. Don’t be afraid to ask.
Finally, if you would like to support Relate in continuing our vital work, please consider making a donation to us. This is more important than ever right now – we’ve been supporting the nation’s relationships since before the Second World War and need urgent help to ensure we can carry on doing this when the COVID-19 battle is over.
Relate has 1,300 experienced practitioners who will be needed more than ever when individuals, couples and families emerge in the wake of isolation and trauma.
We know that poor quality relationships can result in relationship breakdown, parental conflict, child protection and safeguarding issues, domestic abuse, debt, mental health issues, addiction and homelessness. Your donation will help us ensure that Relate’s support and services are ready and waiting to help.