From dramatic walkouts on Married at First Sight, to big friendship fallouts on Made in Chelsea, reality TV is full of arguments. Some of them might be just for show or scripted - but a lot of what we see can feel very real.
People shout, shut down, cry, say things they don’t mean – but they also talk about different issues, share things with the people they love, and repair relationships!
It makes you wonder: can we actually learn something from the arguments we see on TV? Could it help us understand our own relationships a bit better?
Watching people argue can teach us something
Whether it’s a row on Geordie Shore or a divorce on The Real Housewives, reality TV shows people falling out in all kinds of ways. Sometimes they bottle things up. Sometimes they talk over each other. Sometimes they ask everyone else for advice but don’t talk to the person they’re upset with. Sometimes they talk about things they’ve been upset for a long time about. And sometimes, they even repair relationships that have been broken for a long time!
Even though it can be a bit over the top (and sometimes maybe just for the show!), we often recognise those behaviours in ourselves too. Watching other people argue can help us think about how we argue - and what we might want to do differently.
But not all arguments are helpful
Just because we see certain things on TV, doesn’t mean they’re good for us. Shouting, making nasty comments, or walking off in the middle of a conversation might get attention - but in real life, they can really hurt the people we care about.
If that’s what we’re used to seeing - or what we grew up with - we might think that’s just how people argue. But there are other ways.
Take our quiz on how you argue to find out your own arguing style - and what it might mean for your relationships.
Arguing well is actually a good thing
Some people think arguing means a relationship is going wrong. But the truth is, arguing can be healthy - if you do it in a kind and honest way.
If you never speak up when something’s bothering you, problems can build up. You might feel more stressed. You might find yourself getting snappy over little things. And you might feel further apart from the other person.
- But when you know how to argue in a better way, it can actually bring you closer. You can:
- Feel more understood
- Sort out problems before they grow
- Build trust
- Feel more relaxed in your relationships
Want to know how? Try our guide to arguing better.
So…what can arguments on reality TV really teach us?
Watching other people argue - whether it’s on TV or in real life - can help us think about how we deal with tricky conversations ourselves. It’s not always easy to talk when emotions are running high, or even after seeing or hearing a difficult conversation. But learning how to argue in a healthier way can make a big difference.
You don’t have to agree on everything to have a strong relationship. But knowing how to handle conflict calmly and kindly is a skill worth building. See how Relate can help you with our self help guides.
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