If you're struggling to figure out whether you're ready for another child, here are some things to think about to help you make the decision.
Do you want to have a second child?
It might seem obvious, but it’s important to make sure you’re on the same page when it comes to having a second child. Even if you planned to have another from the start, it’s still important to check in and make sure nothing’s changed. Maybe your job situation has altered which might make things more difficult or easier?
If the birth of your first child was especially traumatic for any reason, or you've had a miscarriage since your first child was born, you might want to talk with your GP to ensure that you get the best advice and support when having another baby.
Sit down and talk it over – and be honest about any doubts.
Can you afford to have a second child?
If you’ve already had a child, you’ll know that being a parent is an expensive business. And it can be even more costly the second time around. Although you won’t necessarily have to buy new baby equipment (and hand me downs are a great way of saving money!), you’ll still have to budget for food and childcare – and may need to think about finding a bigger space to live.
How will your family change if you have a second child?
When you introduce a second child, everything shifts. You go from being a trio to a foursome. This, of course, can be great: you’ll have a bigger family, your first child will have a sibling – but it will also mean more demands on your time and energy. If you’re still adjusting to the changes brought by your first child, you may want to wait until you’re ready before doing it again.
How will a new baby impact your relationship?
Having a new baby puts a lot of pressure on the parents’ relationship. You’ll have less time to spend together – and will have to cope with the emotional strain of sharing duties for the new baby while looking after the first. Have a think about how you reacted the first time around. If you found it tough, you may want to talk about ways you could things differently this time. Relationship Counselling can be a great way of preparing for a big change.
What's the ideal age gap between children?
A lot of parents fret over what the ideal gap to leave between children is. The simple answer is: there isn’t one. Different gaps come with different advantages and disadvantages.
A small gap between pregnancies does mean you won’t get much of a break between pregnancies – which can put a lot of pressure on you emotionally, financially, and for the birthing parent, physically – but it will give your first child a sibling of a similar age to spend time with. A larger gap can give you more time to readjust – which can be important if you need it – but can mean it’ll be longer before you find the time to regain ground as a couple.
Ultimately, it’s best not to overthink things too much. What’s most important is that you support each other and try to take any choices together.
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