Help after a relationship ends

I didn’t feel I was able to do anything except what was necessary to look after my children.

Rachel had been with her husband for ten years and married for five when their relationship broke down. The breakup was very painful and difficult with her husband turning violent.

I was in a fairly bad place. I was on anti-depressants and I hadn’t been able to work for a couple of months. I didn’t feel I was able to do anything except what was necessary to look after my children. I was making regular visits to the doctor, but nothing seemed to be helping.

Seeking help

Rachel's mum worked for a mediation service, and she suggested Rachel should contact Relate to talk to someone about the problems she was having. She attended counselling every week for seven weeks and during that time, she felt able to return to work.

Even though I had to declare bankruptcy at that time, I felt that the decisions I was making were in the best interests of me and my children. With the support from the counsellor, I began to feel that I could take back control of my life.

Rachel was surprised at how she had misjudged counselling.

It was totally different from what I had expected counselling to be. I didn’t just air my woes and have a counsellor sit and nod. My counsellor had an opinion and made useful and constructive comments to help me get into a better state of mind.

Where she is now

The counselling made a huge difference to me. I’m feeling quite positive now. I still have bad days, but they don’t engulf me in the way they did before. I don’t feel guilty or bad for crying over the loss of my marriage, and I now feel that I can look forward to a future for me and my children.


How we can help

If, like Rachel you'd like some support after the break up of a relationship, there are various ways we can help.

How can we help

If you feel like you need some support in your relationship there are lots of ways we can help

* This case study is loosely based on the kind of scenarios we work with, as opposed to a specific client. Relate never shares the stories of our clients without permission, even with names and details changed.