New study by experts at eharmony and Relate investigates modern attitudes to ‘singledom’ as Christmas approaches
- Report examines the current dating landscape and finds nearly two thirds (61%) of single Brits enjoy the independence that comes with being on their own
- Nearly half (41%) of singles agree that being on your own is better than being in a bad relationship – though many find not having a partner at Christmas challenging
- Of those currently single, men (71%) feel more pressure than women (58%) to start a new a relationship and ‘settle down’
- Younger singles are more likely to report feeling lonely (88%) than those aged 65+ (70%)
Many British women are embracing single life, whilst men feel under far more pressure to settle down.
This is according to a new study by relationship experts eharmony and relationship support charity Relate, which uncovers what life is really like for singles in the UK today.
The findings reveal that both sexes are quick to champion the benefits that come with being single; personal independence (61%), time for new hobbies (33%), being free to do what you want on a night out (24%) and even the freedom to enjoy new sexual relationships (10%). In fact, two fifths (41%) of respondents agree that they would rather be by themselves than with the wrong person.
Yet despite these many positives, single men still feel under significant pressure to find that special someone. In fact, contrary to popular perception, they feel more concerned about finding a partner than their female counterparts (71% vs. 58%).
Both genders also admit that being single can feel isolating at times. In fact, 77% of British singles say they’ve experienced loneliness, and 45% identified loneliness as a downside to being single. Single men were slightly more likely than women to say feeling lonely was a negative aspect about being single (47% vs. 43%).
Commenting on the findings, eharmony psychologist Dr. Linda Papadopoulos says: “Surprising though it may seem, it’s single men rather than women who feel under more pressure to find a partner. They also report higher levels of loneliness. This challenges the traditional idea of the happy-go-lucky bachelor who is more suited to single life than his female equivalent.
“The reality is that single women tend to be more robust on their own. They often capitalise on strong friendships which meet many of their needs for intimacy and prevent loneliness creeping in. Men on the other hand, perhaps don’t necessarily share the same level of emotional connection with their friends, or even family members. Research suggests they also tend to miss physical intimacy slightly more than women. But there’s really no need for anyone to feel disheartened.
“People who work on building strong connections with friends and loved ones can really reap the benefits of taking time out between relationships. Meanwhile, for those singles seeking more meaningful relationships, We’d advise looking for someone with shared personality traits and values. Data clearly shows that couples who share a high degree of compatibility are far more likely to have happy, long-lasting relationships.”
As well as differences between genders, the report reveals that it’s younger generations who battle with being single the most. In fact, 18 to 24 year-olds are more likely to report feeling lonely[1] than those aged 65+. And contrary to the commonly-held perception that younger Brits are driving the rise in casual dating, the research shows this category is more likely than older age groups to believe in the idea of finding ‘the one’[2].
The report also suggests that so-called swipe culture might be overwhelming singles with too many choices. One in seven (15%) singles feel ‘overwhelmed’ by the current dating landscape, and one in ten (10%) say the dating process had led them to feeling ‘burned out’.
Finally, when it comes to Christmas, singles have mixed feelings about being alone. One in ten dread being single during the festive period and a similar number feel upset and stressed. Plus, of those who feel blue about being single at Christmas, 33% admit that being surrounded by family and friends in happy relationships is especially difficult at this time.
Chris Sherwood, Chief executive at Relate comments:
“Whilst almost half of respondents said that feeling lonely was a downside to being single, it can also be an opportunity to learn about yourself and build independence. It’s therefore a shame that so many single people, and especially men, are feeling pressure to settle down and find a new partner. It’s important that we regard being single as a lifestyle choice which may change at any time and avoid making judgments about people’s relationship status. Unnecessary pressure from friends, family and society can lead people to start a relationship before they’re ready or understand what they want from it.
“Our research found that 52% of singles said they’d benefit from support around making better relationship choices. Despite popular belief, relationship counselling isn’t only for couples. If you’re single Relate can help you to explore what didn’t work for you in your past relationships, what it is you have to offer and what your realistic needs and expectations are for a new relationship.”
Romain Bertrand, Managing Director of eharmony says: “We’re pleased to have partnered with Relate to get a really detailed picture about the lives of singles in the UK. We want to better understand how people feel about being single, how strong their support networks are and how best we can help them. Of course, it’s encouraging to see that many people actively enjoy being on their own and have strong ties with family and friends. However, we also know that many singles feel burned out and jaded by casual dating. They typically come to eharmony for a more bespoke approach to finding love, knowing that we match our members on shared values and personality traits. Our data indicates you’re 20 times more likely to find a highly-compatible match via our site than if you leave things to fate or chance. We’re proud of that statistic and hopefully changing people’s lives for the better.”
To find out more, or for additional support and advice visit: https://www.eharmony.co.uk/dating-advice/start-with-you/being-single-britain
For expert support and advice from Relate, please visit: https://www.relate.org.uk/relationship-help/help-relationships/being-single-and-dating
DOWNLOAD THE FULL REPORT: https://www.relate.org.uk/policy-campaigns/publications/being-single-britain-today
ENDS
For more information please contact:
Dan Thompson – Third City
T: 020 3657 9776 E: Dan@thirdcity.co.uk
Methodology
Unless otherwise stated, research was conducted by ICM Unlimited on behalf of Third City in November 2017, among a nationally representative sample of 4,054 UK adults, 1,418 of whom were single.
All figures appear in the Being Single in Britain Today report by eharmony and Relate, which also incorporates supplementary qualitative research via online focus groups with Relate counsellors to add insights from work in supporting individuals across the country.
About eharmony.co.uk
eharmony launched in the UK in 2008 with a clear vision: to create more lasting love in the world. The experts behind eharmony are committed to helping singles find the best possible partner, using science and psychology to determine key personality traits. Prior to launch, the brand invested in further extensive research into love and relationships, conducted in partnership with Oxford University’s Internet Institute to develop UK relationship-compatibility models. Today eharmony, fondly know as ‘the brains behind the butterflies’, proudly serves almost 60million members globally, and has amassed 5m registered users since launching in Britain. Find out more at http://www.eharmony.co.uk/tour.
About Relate
Relationships are the beating heart of our lives – when they aren’t healthy, we suffer. That’s why Relate, the UK’s leading relationship support charity, is here to help. Relate champions the importance of strong and healthy relationships for all as the basis of a thriving society.
Nearly 3 million people in the UK are in distressed relationships – that’s 1.4 million families at breaking point. Relate’s work helps prevent loneliness, depression, abuse, homelessness, debt and many other life-shattering events that can happen when relationships go wrong. Relate’s non-judgmental services helped more than 1.5 million people last year, of all backgrounds and sexual orientations.
Relate will celebrate its 80th birthday in 2018.
Visit relate.org.uk to find out more.
Relate is a registered charity number 207314